What does it really mean to “break up” with your diet?
And if we’re not dieting, are we just throwing all caution to the wind?
I admit, there’s a fine line that we all have to balance when it comes to nutrition. We know that dieting and restriction clearly don’t work and that anyone telling us to try some kind of detox/quick fix or encouraging us to sign up for a program that promises we will “slim down fast” is just more diet culture BS.
But if we’re not dieting and constantly trying to distort our bodies into the “ideal” body types around us…then what are we? Are we just aimlessly wandering without any rules?
I think this is probably one of the most important questions we have to face when it comes to taking care of our health. When I approach registered dietitians for my articles, they always give great advice on foods that are good and not-so-good for our long-term health—but in the same breath tell me that restricting any food leads to disordered eating.
So what is it, then? If we’re allowed to eat the not-so-good foods, then will our health actually deteriorate? And if we’ve decided to break up with our diets, then technically if we’re following a nutritious eating plan, are we still dieting with the disguise of “food freedom” because we keep telling ourselves we broke up with it already?
It’s confusing, but important, so I turned to my friend Caroline Thomason, RD LDN, CDCES, a nothern-Virginia-based dietitian who pretty much lives and breathes this stuff. And you’re going to love what she has to say.
What exactly does it mean to diet?
This is probably the most important thing to walk away with today, and Caroline said it best.
“A diet is something that is typically thought of as a restrictive nutrition plan, with a set of rigid guidelines, that you follow for a specified amount of time,” she said. “If you feel restricted, have used all your willpower, and have an end date in mind…you’re dieting!”
If you feel at any point that you “can’t eat” something because it’s “bad” for you, that’s dieting. If you’re ignoring a food because you’re scared it’s going to make you feel guilty for eating it, that’s dieting. If you find yourself still hungry at the end of the day but feel you shouldn’t eat because you didn’t do enough to “earn it,” that’s dieting.
Dieting is restriction in any form. The dictionary even defines it as “restricting oneself to small amounts or special kinds of food in order to lose weight.” If you hear that little voice in your head telling you that you shouldn’t be eating something, let’s call that the little diet culture demon. You know the kind that sits on your shoulder and whispers little lies into your ear? That’s truly how I envision it.
What does it mean to have food freedom?
“When we consider how nutrition affects us we need to consider not only our physical health but also our mental health,” said Caroline. “There are so many reasons to eat outside of just ‘food is fuel’. Having food freedom means that you understand all foods fit and incorporating balance into your life will make you healthier and happier.”
Let’s take a look at an example Caroline gave us. Imagine your grandmother made you this delicious cake for your birthday. It’s the exact flavor you like—for me it’s either a chocolate cake with mocha frosting, or lemon cake with vanilla frosting and lots of fresh berries on top.
If you’re on a diet, you would probably look at that cake and either say “I shouldn’t be eating that” or “screw it, I’ll start back up on Monday” and overindulge. It’s the lovely cycle of yo-yo dieting that diet culture shackles us into.
However, living in food freedom means enjoying a slice of that gorgeous cake without restriction. Because you only get that cake once a year, and it’s particularly special because your grandmother made it for you.
“[Food freedom] means going out to dinner with your girlfriends that you never get to see and ordering something you really want,” said Caroline. “These experiences are so important for our mental health.”
So, because we have decided to break up with dieting and restriction, what does that mean for our health? How do we take care of ourselves but also live in freedom?
Why is it important to care about nutrition?
“Deciding to break up with diet culture does not mean that you no longer care about nutrition or your health. Actually, quite the contrary,” said Caroline. “The new food freedom movement places a huge emphasis on nutrition as the centerpiece of our health.”
A few weeks ago, I wrote an essay about how I refuse to be a runner. Why? Because it’s not the type of exercise I enjoy, and I don’t have to do it just because everyone else does. I view nutrition in the same way.
Now that I don’t follow a particular set of guidelines or rules from some kind of dieting program, I’m now free to make the decisions I want for my health and nutrition. Yes, I’ve worked with a dietitian to develop a style of eating that makes sense for me. But the ultimate focus is not about trying to lose weight or look a certain way. It’s about living a healthy life for a long time to come.
“There are nutrition recommendations for nearly every disease state to help create better health,” said Caroline. “As a dietitian, I help people find real solutions to better health through nutrition without dieting.”
With this new sense of freedom, I found I was no longer held back by the toxic lies of diet culture. I am now excited about eating in a way that is healthy for my body, excited to exercise in the ways that make me feel good, and excited that I don’t have to say no to enjoying some of my favorite foods in those special moments—like drinking bubbly and eating slices of pizza with my girlfriends on a Friday night.
What are the best steps to follow after breaking up with your diet?
If you’ve broken up with your diet (yay! go you! welcome to the fam!) here are some practical tips from Caroline that you can follow moving forward—because I know how much you guys love getting practical. I will caveat again by saying every body is different. What works for you may not work for someone else. So keep that in mind before moving forward with any of these recommendations.
Create some healthy habits.
“Once you’ve committed to stop dieting, you can actually focus on the behaviors and the habits you need to create for better health,” said Caroline.
Caroline refers to them as the “big rocks” to set in place that keep you grounded in your new healthy, non-restrictive life. A few big rocks that she mentions include:
Eating three meals a day with balanced options
Drinking enough water
Getting enough sleep
Here are some of my favorite healthy habits to live by. Or, I’m happy to sound like a broken record by telling you to find a dietitian that can help you set some habits that work for your body specifically.
But choose habits that you can actually manage.
There’s no rush here—this isn’t some kind of 30-day fitness program forcing you into a completely new lifestyle overnight. This kind of habitual change takes time.
So before making all kinds of changes, ask yourself, what healthy habits can I actually manage right now in this moment?
Sure, you could try to exercise five days a week because that’s where you would like to be someday. However, if that’s not actually realistic and it’s causing you to feel completely exhausted and overwhelmed, you’ll likely quit. Caroline says to instead start with one or two days a week, and when you actually feel like you can manage more, then incorporate another day or two as time goes on.
You don’t have to buy the half-gallon-sized water bottle that every fitness influencer is pushing these days. Create bite-sized goals that actually make sense for you, goals that make you feel powerful and successful when you achieve them.
Learn from your body.
Remember, there are no mistakes in this journey—just moments of learning.
For example, one of the biggest hurdles I’ve had to overcome is overeating at a meal. When I finally gave myself the freedom to eat, I found I was eating more than my body could actually handle at a meal because my eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach. Over the years I’ve gotten better at learning what portion sizes work best for me, what foods don’t agree with my body, and when to stop eating because I’ve hit the right amount of fullness. Again, this was years in the making, but I’m proud of myself for taking the time to learn and not berating myself for “making a mistake” or “getting it wrong.” Because that kind of language, again, comes from the diet culture demon.
Caroline brings up a great question you can ask yourself to learn about your body: Where have you fallen off track in the past and how can you prevent the same scenario from happening again?
Another lesson I’ve learned in recent years is how my body can’t go between lunch and dinner without getting hungry. Lunch I usually eat around 12 or 1, and dinner is around 7 or 8 p.m. That’s a long time to go without food, so I have found giving myself a little happy hour snack (like a small bowl of nuts or popcorn, apple with peanut butter, carrots and hummus, or even dark chocolate) satisfies my hunger and doesn’t turn into mindless snacking while I’m cooking dinner—a scenario that caused me to “fall off track” in the past.
Learn from your week.
This is another point I’m personally adding in, and I think it’s perfect to end on. Think about what your week actually looks like, and let your habits form based on that.
For me, Fridays and Saturdays tend to be a bit more lax in terms of eating. I wake up on a Friday and somehow always crave pancakes (I made my favorite banana pancakes yesterday). I typically go out with friends and enjoy a drink or two, and I’m not afraid to enjoy a greasy cheeseburger or a slice of pizza with them. On Saturdays, I hard core sleep in and don’t usually work out.
Instead of fighting this because I “shouldn’t” do those things (back away, diet culture demon!), I happily let them occur. It makes me a lot more excited to take care of my health the rest of the week because I’m not restricting myself from living in those moments.
Okay now that I’ve mentioned bubbly a few times, let’s have some bubbly. And oysters!
This week’s recipe is from my friends over at Chandon By The Bay, and their delicious Reserve Blanc de Blancs sparkling wine that pairs well with oysters. It’s the kind of summer happy hour treat you have always been looking for, and I can confirm that the wine is divine. Ha! Rhymes.
Oysters with Chandon Sparkling Wine Cucumber Mignonette
Recipe Attribution: by melissav
INGREDIENTS
1-2 dozen Real Oyster Cult Oysters, on the half shell
¼ cup Champagne vinegar
1 tablespoon shallots, finely minced
4 teaspoons cucumber, peeled and finely minced
¼ teaspoon kosher salt
1 pinch, freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons Chandon By The Bay Reserve Blanc de Blancs
METHOD
Combine the vinegar, shallots, cucumber, salt, and pepper in a small bowl. Chill in the fridge while you shuck the oysters (place ‘em on the half shell).
When you’re ready to serve, gently stir the Chandon By The Bay Reserve Blanc de Blancs into the mignonette.
Add a spoonful of the mignonette to each oyster, pour yourself a glass of Chandon By The Bay Reserve Blanc de Blancs, and enjoy.
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